Ladies, I get it, I do, I know you think it’s different for me, but it isn’t, I promise you that. I know you think that because I started this group that it somehow makes me more comfortable, let’s get this straight, I never started Sinister Rouge for me, not at all, I started it for you.
|Just got home, feeling good after the shoot!|
There are three reasons I participate (on occasion) in photo shoots……
- I will not ask any one of you to do something I am not willing to do, no matter how scary it may seem. How can I ask you to be comfortable in front of the camera no matter your shape or size if I shy away? I’m not about mixed messages (Do as I say, not as I do just isn’t my style). Also, how can I properly direct you on body movement if I haven’t taken direction?
- Once we’re all there, it is so much fun that you can’t help but want to be a part of it all.
- Because no matter how you feel before or during, it always feels amazing after when you see the finished product.
I am so proud of what we’ve done here with our team, I will always stand up with them and I’m happy to put my face on whatever we do, no matter how I look, whether it be all dolled up in my own photos or glasses, no make up, and comfy clothes for behind the scenes shots, this is me, this is who I am and I’m ok with that because I want to document every moment I can with this amazing group of people.
|Shot captured during shoot with sTOrM Photography (or the during that goes with the before & after above)|
So, while I answer all of your questions and try to ease your anxiety before a shoot, here’s what I can tell you as I approach my first private shoot with Tom of sTOrM Photography….I will never be able to ease your anxiety completely and I think that’s ok. Butterflies before a performance is a completely healthy thing, it means you care and want to get it right. What I don’t want you worried about is what we do.
Do not worry about wardrobe (we should have gone over all of that before your shoot, it will be great, don’t worry), hair or make up, or our photographer…..that’s my job, that’s why I’m here holding this team together. If you’re worried about those things, we need to talk more about this before you come in, message me. But, if you’re just nervous and worried about how it will feel having lights and a camera on you or how to make the right faces, well, that’s perfectly ok. Know that those feelings will disappear once you get here and start to relax. Want to make it a little easier on yourself? Practice making faces in the mirror before your shoot to know how your face looks as it moves, that’s very important and can ease some of your anxiety. Don’t obsess over this, please, there’s no reason, you are and will appear beautiful, don’t worry so much.
|The reason I love this photo so much has nothing to do with how good we all look, it has everything to do with it capturing how we felt in that moment. Let go, have fun, let your true beauty shine through.|
I completely know what’s going to happen next month at my shoot and I’m still terrified. That’s right, Ladies, I’m terrified. I planned it months in advance so I could torture myself well and good with that fear, lol. So, I mean, I get it, really I do. I am excited, too, please don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t be doing it if I weren’t excited, but this shoot for me is very, very important as I’m sure this one is for you. We understand that.
Next month, I will be paying homage to one of my favorite artists of all time and all of this is so far out of my comfort zone. Will I be able to do the original artist’s work justice? Can I properly contort my body and face to convey the emotions that I feel when I look at the original pieces of work? What if I’m just not the right one to do this shoot? After all, I’m not a model. But ya know what, there’s a reason I’m doing this shoot and not other ones, the passion is there. I’m doing this shoot for a reason, this artist’s work changed my life, the way I feel, the way I look at this world, it is so deep of a part of who I am. So, really, who else could possibly do this one for me to my unreasonably high standards? I am nervous because I have such high expectations as I’m sure you do when you come in to see us. But I am not nervous about hair, make up, wardrobe (ok, well, I’m still working on wardrobe, so I am still a bit nervous about finishing that up), or Tom, I know the photos will be amazing, it’s just how much will I pick myself apart in the end result.
What I see the most when people look at their photos is self criticism. When showing one of my favorite photos of one of our clients to her, I was so proud to present such a beautiful portrayal of her, I felt it really captured her essence, her beautiful smile is all I saw in that photo; it was so natural, such an amazing moment to have been captured. The first thing she saw in the photo was how large she felt her arms appeared. She didn’t even see what the rest of us saw, that beam of light coming from her face, that big smile lighting up the entire photo. It’s crushing to hear what you think of yourselves, it really is.
How are we going to keep the serious tone needed to pull this shoot off the way it needs to be? With our crew, I am always laughing……that can’t be for this one. And, really, it’s going to be hard to keep a serious, somber tone with Tom, but I know he’s a professional and will totally pull this off. The question is, can I? There’s so much love and a ton of passion involved, of course I can….I just have to stop worrying so much….just like you do. We got this.