Monday, August 31, 2015

Krystal Lake's Top Ten Summertime Horror Films

When Summer comes around I start to get this itch; an itch for blood, gore, and camp counselors! Yeah, I know, I should probably get that checked out. Some people watch Frankie and Annette movies when warmer weather hits and some watch Wes Craven’s Summer of Fear. I mean Bikini Beach/Blood Beach! Tomato/tomatoe! Since I am a horror girl, I thought I would share my top ten summertime horror films!

10. I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)

I know, sort of cliche, but I was a teen for a good part of the 90s, so sue me! In case you live under a rock, this film is a hit and run gone wrong. All I know is that if you dump a dead body, maybe you should make sure they are dead. Just saying… A group of friends are involved in a hit and run. They all cover up the accident and don’t talk about it again. A year goers by, and everyone is reunited when they start receiving anonymous notes saying “I know what you did last summer”. Kids get stalked, the body count starts to add up… fun for the whole family! Also, this film has some killer eye candy. Yes, I am talking about Ryan Phillippe, Freddie Prinze Jr, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Jennifer Love Hewitt. 

9. Joy Ride (2001)

Yes. The movie with the ever so classy tagline, “Don’t screw with people you don’t know.” Great advice, by the way. Two guys play a prank on a trucker over their CB radio. It isn’t until after they pick up the “hot chick” from college that they realize they pissed the trucker off and he is a freaking murdering psychopath! I know… likely story. This movie always cracks me up, if only because of the lines Steve Zahn. God! The mouth on that guy… so many eff bombs! I love it!

8. Campfire Tales (1997)

This is what it sounds like. A group of teenagers telling stories around a campfire. Lots of familiar faces including Christine taylor, Christopher Masterson, Amy Smart, and James Marsden. This one is filled with tales about make out points, monsters, ghosts, and crazed killers. What can I say, I’m a sucker for anthology horror films. 

7. Madman (1982)

This one takes place at a summer camp for tweens. The legend has it that if you call out “Madman Marz”, a mass murder, he will come back and kill anyone in his path. Well guess what the kids do and guess what happens to the counselors? Yup, unicorn dance party! Just kidding… but you get the idea.

6. Piranha 3D (2010)

Pick a Piranha, any Piranha. The original, the 3D one with Jerry O’Connell, or even the 3DD one. They all have hot bods, kitsch, and killer fish. It’s great! Though I do have a soft spot for the 3D one… Damn you Jerry!!!!! I can’t look at him without hearing someone whisper “sliders”!!! 

5. Tourist Trap (1979)

Your basic group of friends stranded at a secluded roadside museum where they are stalked by the owner. I know, oldest story in the book! Did I mention the owner has control over is collection of mannequins??? This movie is one I would love to see remade… Hint Hint, Hollywood! Get on it!

4. Jaws (1975)

I’m not explaining this one. If you didn’t read my post on Jaws I don’t know why I am even bothering. 

3. The Burning (1981)

This movie has it all!!!! A prank gone wrong, a crazed killer who is horribly disfigured, sexy teens, a great murder weapon, a body count, and Jason Alexander… wait for it…. with hair! I watched this film for the first time a year ago and I have been obsessed with it ever since! I couldn’t believe I had gone almost my entire life without ever having watched it! No spoilers, just watch it!

2. Friday the 13th (1980)

Ohh no, Krystal Lake didn’t put Jason as her #1 movie… super fan my ass! For all ya’ll punks out there judging me for not putting Friday the 13th as my #1 pick just because of my name can bite me! I’m breaking free! I love Friday the 13th! I love every man who has ever played the role of Jason Voorhies. I almost cried when Betsy Palmer passed away (she played Mrs. Voorhees… amateurs!) This is just classic horror to me, plain and simple. You have an accident followed by revenge and no matter how many teenagers or camp counselors suffer, it will never be enough! NEVER!!!! Anyways, this is another film that I am not going to explain because unless you just walked out of the womb, there is no excuse! None!

1. Sleepaway Camp (1983)

Ohhh Sleepaway Camp, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways… I own the boxset and just purchased every film on bluray because I HAD TO. No really… I had to!!!! Two words: Actors Commentary! The story starts out with a family and two kids at a lake. There is a terrible accident. One of the kids passes away and the dad as well. The surviving child is Angela. Angela ends up living with her Aunt and cousin after the accident. Just like her cousin, Angela will be going to sleepway camp for a few weeks. She is shy and is picked on constantly leaving her cousin to defend her. Suddenly, people at the camp start having “accidents” one by one and the kill scenes are great! The ending is killer, pun totally intended! This is probably one of the few horror films that I have literally seen over 100 times. Not a joke… I am at triple digits with the first one and the second and third aren’t too much further behind. Bottom line, this movie kicks ass and I highly reccommend this to any fan of 80s slashers!

I hope you enjoyed my Top Ten Favorite Summertime Horror Films. If I missed one that you would recommend, leave the title in the comments below!

Stay Spooky,

Krystal Lake