Sunday, November 15, 2015

PHDS: Post Halloween Depression Syndrome

At this very moment, I am looking around my house at all of my Halloween decorations and I am dreading taking them down. Yes, this spooky ghoul has special Halloween decor that I only bring out for the season. Right now, my biggest struggle is knowing I need to put away my Spooky Town Village. So many little pieces and so many boxes to pack up and move. They wait all year to be put out on display and now I have to crush their dreams and put them away. I know… suck it up cupcake and just do it. I know… I will. Trust me, I don’t want an animal or tall husband accidentally breaking any part of my village and I sure as hell don’t want to have to dust this mini village every week. Nope. I know what I need to do, but I don’t even want to get up from the couch. I don’t want to wear anything except pjs. I don’t even want coffee because I am worried it will make me perky and take charge and before you know it every speck of Halloween has disappeared into some box packed away in a closet. I can’t! If any of this sounds familiar or relatable, you too might have PHDS: Post Halloween Depression Syndrome. 

Don’t laugh. PHDS is all too real for us creepy folks. Sure we get excited for the sales after Halloween is over, but it still breaks our hearts at the same time. Home Goods is one of my most favorite stores to buy spooky home decor. They are responsible for more than half of my coffee mugs, hand towels, and tablecloths alone! I have a deep relationship with Home Goods as the season goes on and then I notice things… suddenly the shelves don’t get restocked like they used to. All of a sudden this holly, jolly son of a bitch named Santa starts showing up. At first he is here and there and then it’s like he never leaves! When Halloween finally shows up, Home Goods says, sorry boo, this is our last day together; I want a divorce. Without even thinking, Home Goods tries to get rid of everything that brought us together with cheap prices. I’m not even down from our Halloween high when I realize all that’s left of our love is a small clearance bag of gourmet candy corn with half the candy crushed and the decorative ribbon no longer in a perfect bow. My soul is crushed just like the candy corn. So what do I do? I try and see friends who will understand. 

I visit Target, craft stores, Hallmark, and even Home Depot. Hey! Home Depot has awesome decor for your front yard and is a great place to pick up a hammer to cover in blood for a photoshoot. Don’t judge me! Anyways, guess what happens when I arrive at these places???? They have all sided with Home Goods and have replaced our friendship with that jolly SOB! Damn it! I go home in defeat and start looking on-line. I find solace in Etsy shops and websites like Horror Decor. I can start to breathe. I know the first month will be the hardest, but I will move on. I will conquer this depression. 

When I finally come out of this funk I will take great joy in the fact that come September, Home Goods will be begging me to come back for more; which just goes to show, no one can resist a spooky girl. I will go back and once again, and I will restart the vicious cycle that always ends with PHDS.