Tuesday, December 15, 2015

The Second Day of Christmas with Krystal Lake: Favorite Xmas Horror Films

Let's be real... it wouldn't be a perfect Christmas without movies to go with it. However, I also wouldn't be Krystal Lake if I didn't want my holly jolly films to come with a dash of madness and mayhem. #ClassicKrystal I have complied a quick list of my five favorite Xmas horror films that I watch every December. I've listed them Letterman style with my most favorite last.

5. Santa's Slay - This is the most ridiculous holiday movie I have ever seen. Okay... maybe not the most ridiculous, but it is definitely up there. Basically, Christmas was originally a "Day of Slaying" until a demon lost a curling match (yes, a curling match) to an angel and was sentenced to deliver presents to children every "Christmas" for 1000 years. When Santa's 1000 years are up, he goes on a killing spree in a town called Hell. Yeah... not lying.

4. Gremlins - If you haven't seen this, you might be dead to me. It's an effing classic and so is the second film as well. Basically, a guy gets a little critter and doesn't follow the guidelines when it comes to caring for his new pet. No bright lights. No getting the little guy wet. No feeding him after midnight. worst pet owner ever! As a result, a bunch of evil monsters terrorize this small town. Merry Christmas, sukkas!

3. Krampus - Yes, this film is new. Yes, I already saw it. Yes, it is an instant fav. Yes, you should effing see it! Your basic boy having a bad Christmas accidentally summons a Christmas Demon aka Gruss Vom Krampus. I know, oldest story in the book! This movie goes from funny to creepy, back to funny, and then back to creepy again. And PS, for anyone who thinks this film is strictly horror with a cast that includes Adam Scott, Toni Collette, and Conchata Ferrell is probably the same type of person who shocked when 5pm hits on a Tuesday and finds themselves mysteriously stuck in traffic. I mean seriously? Get it together!

2. P2 - A favorite of mine and my husband. Pretty lady goes to leave work on Christmas Eve and is locked in a parking garage while being pursued by a psycho security guard. Sounds stupid, but I love it! And it won't cease to amaze you at the crazy crap this guard pulls. Mmmm, Wes Bentley makes crazy so damn sexy!

1. Black Xmas - That's right!!!! I like the remake better than the original! This film is the reason I line my hallways and living room with Christmas lights. It is the reason cookie cutters seem kind of badass. it is the reason I suck the end of a candy cane into a sharp point. I love the cast. I love the music. I love the house. I love the storyline. I love that Andrea Martin has a role in this remake since she was also in the original film as well.  I love everything about this film!

This is the story of a group of sorority girls who live in a house with quite a colorful past. A boy named Billy grew up in this home with a rare liver disease that turned his skin yellow. His mother hated him. Billy gets a bit crazy after witnessing Mommy and her lover kill Daddy and then is locked away in the attic. Throw in a little incest with mommy, attacking his sister, and killing mommy followed by making xmas cookies out of the skin on her back and you have yourself one effed up guy! Ohhh, did I mention this all went down on Christmas? Well, guess who escapes a mental institution and returns home this Christmas and starts knocking off sorority girls? Ohhh yes! Ohhhh and did I mention there is a snow storm, most college kids are gone for the holidays, and campus security and the police can't get to the house? Ohhh yes!!!!! Just talking about it makes me want to watch it now!!!!!

I hope you enjoyed my top five favorite Xmas horror films! have a favorite I didn't mention? Leave me a message in the comments below and tell me what your favorites are!

Stay Sweet and Twisted,

Krystal Lake